Why My ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ Come in the form of a To-Do List

It would have probably made more sense to write this blog back in early January, but as I am an excellent procrastinator it took until now to publish it.

At the start of the new year, there are tons and tons of posts about New Year’s Resolutions all over social media- from companies cashing in on the ‘New Year, New Me’ tag line to articles about how making resolutions at the beginning of the year are fundamentally wrong etc. Whether people are making them or not, it is still massively talked about every January.

However, instead of making New Year’s Resolution the traditional way, I have been writing a yearly to-do list.  It is not a revolutionary concept, but these yearly to-do lists have made such a difference to my outlook on life, especially this year. While 2016 was one of the best years of my life, it didn’t end so well and so this year started with a lot of negative emotions. Coupled with the fact that I had no job prospects and no idea what I was going to do this year, I felt incredibly demotivated.

Although, once I had put together my to-do list, I felt like I had the smallest bit of direction for this year. The list included things such as volunteer somewhere, complete a charity run, go travelling and pass my driving test (yes, it is embarrassing that I haven’t even attempted a test). Specifying what I needed to do with my year gave me much better direction than ‘be more active’. Stating that I needed to join a dance class and complete another charity run provided a much easier way of measuring whether I have been successful. Instead of saying that I needed to work hard this year, I would write that I need to volunteer and find a full-time job. When I then manage to tick both off, I can prove to myself that I really did put in effort this year.

Wanting to cross things off my to-do list is also a massive motivator. Including something as simple as ‘try something new’ now has me sitting in a class surrounded by middle-aged people and creating pretty cool pieces of artwork. It sounds odd, but having a to-do list pushed me to work in a different country for two months last year. However, there does come a time when crossing something off your to-do list is not a big enough motivator to complete something. So, I found that telling friends and family about all the things I need to complete, works to push you that little further. Especially when they ask about how much of it you have completed on a regular basis.

Of course, there are massive issues with writing lists. One of the big ones is that it is incredibly disheartening when you don’t tick everything off on the list. But then it is about following that incredibly cheesy advice of ‘focus on the positives’. If I don’t manage to complete everything on my list this year, I can still be proud of the fact that I completed five out of ten things in the first six weeks of the year- including finding a graduate job, volunteering and joining a dance class. It is also about being relatively realistic as well. On my 21 things to do before I am 21 list, I wrote that I needed to ‘get rid of depression forever’. However, mental illnesses don’t quite work like that and so that was something which was close to impossible to achieve (I am doing completely fine now).

To end with, I am including a picture of my to-do list for this year. This is quite personal as I normally only ever share this with close friends and family, but perhaps posting it for the world to see may just push me to work that little bit harder to complete it all.

Like it says on my incredibly cheesy to-do list poster, ‘life begins at the end of your comfort zone’.

Solo Travelling

When people ask me what my favourite memory was from my time abroad, I always come back to the same answer: the time that I went to explore the Blue Mountains in New South Wales. This wasn’t the first time I went to the mountains that year, but it was the time that I went alone and the experience was just incredible.

Before I explain why, I would like to say that I love going away with friends. I have some amazing memories from my time in Copenhagen and I had such a laugh in Prague. Morocco, Beijing, Corfu and Dublin were all so incredible and so were the people that I went to those places with too.

However, there is some sort of joy that comes from travelling alone that just makes it a whole other level of awesome.

When I was exploring the mountains, I could choose to see the parts that I wanted to see. I could go at my own pace and take pictures whenever I wanted. I can change my mind last minute and decide to take the 2-hour trek to the next waterfall without having to convince someone else too. I was able to spend 20 minutes standing in one spot, and take in the views, without someone grumbling in the background. And trust me, those views were incredible.

Pictures cannot do these views justice (in particular those taken by a samsung S3)

However, at the end of the day I can come back to the hostel and have a laugh with the people that I was sharing my room with. Nothing brings together a group of strangers than when they are in a strange country alone. I was always excited to hear about when someone had booked their next travel plans and some of my roommates were more scared about me going skydiving than I was myself. You get to learn so much about other people from different parts of the world which you do not get to experience to the same extent when you go away with a group of people. I mean, I managed to find someone who was so similar to me yet had a completely different upbringing. It is weird how quickly you can connect with someone when you are sharing the same experiences- even if it is only a day long trip.

The best part of these friendships was that there was no expectation to do what they were doing. When I went to the beach with someone, she wanted to go back after we completed the coastal walk and I wanted to stay and watch the sunset.  There were no qualms. No awkwardness. It was a case of you do what you want to do and I will do what I want to do. I was able to sit there with a good book and enjoy the sunset without worrying about needing to get back at a certain time. And for someone who is always worrying about something or the other, it felt truly peaceful to know that no one was expecting anything from me.

Coastal Walks

It is not all plain sailing. There are times when you have to eat alone as you are got back from an adventure rather late. There are times when you need a comforting hug as you spent half an hour walking down the same street in typhoon rain trying to find out where your hostel is. There are times when you have to get ready in the dark as no one else in your dorm is getting up at 6am.

Having an Asian family, I also came across the whole ‘it is not safe’, ‘a young girl cannot travel alone’ and so on. Hell, I even got that from my friends too. Some said I was really brave and others said I was being crazy. But in all honesty, I am probably in more danger taking the tube in London then roaming the harbour in Hong Kong. And the latter gives me so much more joy. The funny part is that I have been organizing my family’s holidays my whole life. From finding the best deals on flights and hotels down to figuring out how to get from one place to the next, I have done this all on my own before I even got to secondary school. So, if a 9years old me can do it, why can’t a 21years old me do it? It would be even easier as I wouldn’t have to ensure that I am keeping everyone else happy too.

Enjoying these views without dealing with someone moaning in the background

Even then, travelling alone really pushes you out of your comfort zone. I had to force myself to talk to strangers, to be confident to go up and start a conversation. I had to be comfortable with eating alone in public. I had to learn to trust my instincts as there was no one to tell me if something was a good idea or not. But I never had to compromise. I did what my instincts told me to do and I have never felt more at peace.

I really recommend to give solo travelling a go. Even if it is just a trip to another city for the weekend. My only regret is that I didn’t go for longer.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.